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For whatever reason, my dream in life was to have a 50th wedding anniversary. It seems silly now, but I didn’t dream of my wedding or my partner, it was that 50th anniversary that I held in such high esteem. I got married young and I was on my way. The interesting thing about dreams, though, is that they are not reality. I didn’t have a great plan for this dream of mine and my marriage wasn’t great. It ultimately ended and I was destroyed. A wise person once said that no good marriage ends in divorce and I should have found peace in the opportunities that lied ahead for me and my ex. Letting go of that relationship was hard, but I think letting go of the dream was worse. I’d have to live to be 100 to “accomplish” this goal and my partner would have to make it there too. It’s hard to think that the one thing you wanted so badly will never be true. But time goes on and you have to keep moving forward, so with the help of extensive therapy, I have learned to let go. Acknowledge your feelings It’s ok to feel sadness, rejection, remorse, anger, or any other emotion you feel! Recognize and embrace those emotions for what they are because every emotion is connected to the way you are thinking. When you are able, try to align your emotions to a thought that you may be able to work your way through. Reflect on the reasons Take time to reflect on why you need to let go of the dream. In my case, its easy… the dream is no longer viable. Your dream may no longer be aligned with your values, interests, or goals. Understanding the reasons you must let go can help you gain clarity and acceptance. Accept the reality It is what it is! No amount of hoping, wishing, or praying will change what has happened. Even if you don’t get to a point of understanding why your dream is no longer possible, you can just choose to move forward. Work on your mindfulness – be in the present moment and show gratitude for what you currently have and what you can have in the future. Seek support I am a huge proponent of therapy! If your budget or insurance allows for it, seek out a professional to help guide you through. You can also garner support from your friends and family – your loved ones will want you to be able to move on. Talking about your emotions and receiving support can provide comfort and perspective. Focus on new goals This is a big one! Redirect your energy and focus on a new goal or dream. Identify a new passion or interest that aligns with your current values and aspirations. Focus on a goal that is achievable and not dependent on others. So many things would have had to happen for my childhood dream to come to fruition. My dreams now are based on the person I am and the person I want to become. Action Steps

You’ve probably heard this word a thousand times and it may seem too simple to be true… but I’ve found that the one step to the elusive feeling of happiness is… gratitude. It is about being content with what you currently have and who you currently are. It is also about cultivating the person you want to be. Showing gratitude may be a simple concept, but it might not come easy (especially if you are like me and suffer from depression and burnout). Here are some ideas to master this one step,,, Journal Each day, write down one thing you are grateful for. This can be anything from your pet wanted to snuggle with you or you made it on time to work. Actively seeking out and acknowledging the positive aspects of your life trains your mind to focus on the good rather than dwelling on the negative. Practice mindfulness Take moments throughout the day to pause, breathe, and experience that time. Notice the sensations, sounds, and sights around you. Mindfulness is practiced by Buddhist monks and can help anchor your emotions and bring appreciation to the present. Express gratitude It may seem a little selfish to give gratitude in order to receive it, but it is what it is. We often get a little boost when we are kind to others. Take the time to thank the people in your life who have made a positive impact on you. You can write them a note, send a text, call them, or see them in person to let them know what they mean to you. You will start feeling more positivity when you give it. Shift your perspective When things go wrong, think about what you can be grateful for. I used to think of myself as a “realist” when people would comment on my negativity. I never considered thinking of the whole picture as being negative, I was just acknowledging the problems. I’ve learned that instead of thinking about what can go wrong, you can focus on what you can learn and what you still can be grateful for. It makes a world of difference in your attitude and disposition. Self-care Show gratitude to yourself every day by practicing self-care. Find something that really soothes your soul, relaxes you, or hypes you up. Give yourself the permission to be grateful for the person you are and the person you are becoming because you are worth it.